I’m anxious and its freezing

Divulged my worries in breakfast this morning.


It looked deceivingly beautiful outside yesterday. Sun rays glared through the window, melting the snow that collected along the windowsill. I at some point naively opened the balcony door only to take in all -19 degrees of pure cold accompanied by 27 mph winds. If I hadn’t already been fully awake, that sure would’ve done trick. *to the tune of Canada’s national anthem* “Oh Canada, the home of frost and ice, true freezing winds, this weather’s not so nice,..”

Now, I’m originally from Georgia. That’s right folks- sweet ol’ southern sweet potato pie eating, biscuits & syrup lovin’, deer huntin’, ghost story tellin’, hospitality havin’, daisy dukes wearin’, heat of 1000 suns Savannah, Georgia. Down home, there’s no such thing as a snow storm. Heat index warnings, sure, but no frostbite warning! One of the deciding factors of my moving to Canada was for the variation of weather. This country has actual changing seasons! The winters here though…are just very.extremely.freaking.cold.

I remember my first year in Canada back in 2009. I’d just turned 20 and moved into this cute little neighborhood in Montreal. I remember thinking this was the prime time in my life. Classes were canceled due to expected 15 cms of snow and frequent power outages so I decided to put off finishing my assignments and go play hockey in the park. The neighborhood ice rinks were free, well taken care of, and usually desolate during the day- especially during storm warnings. I grabbed my ice skates, hockey stick (GO HABS GO) and hockey puck, and headed around the block. It was pure luck that I lived so close to the rink, luck that I was grateful for all winter. Anyhow, I got to the rink, empty as usual, laced up, and entered my own world. An hour or so of working on my hockey skills, I released the 7 year old in me and did my best impersonation of Christina Yamaguchi. It was then that I made a promise to embrace each winter to its fullest extent.

I can’t say with pride that Ive kept up with that promise, but as a family, we have participated in the winter festivals. We even had our first beaver tail treat during Ottawa’s Winterlude. It was delicious! I blame my growing bitterness of the winter on the kids- as harsh as it sounds. Pre-family, I could up and go with my friends, sipping on a vodka tea while taking the city on for what it really had to offer on its coldest days. Post family.. there is the ordeal with the snowsuits. Those fluffy suits, often times further complicated by the struggle of the boys’ tiny little bodies eagerly trying to escape it. All the straps, buttons, zippers. Add the puffy winter boots, extra sweater, scarf, mittens, hat, and impossibly puffier winter coat. By the end of putting all of those things on, I’m sweaty and in need of a Valium. It kills the “up and go” I mentioned previously. Not to mention the numerous amount of buses we’ve missed in preparation for an outing. But once we get outside, its worth it to see their smiling faces (warm smiling faces). I can’t wait for summer.


I’m anxious. That’s the reason I’m having such a copious amount of memories spewing from me. Sent out some important emails yesterday and…I don’t know if or when I’ll hear back. This part of trying to start a business is what drives me to the pantry for a rice cake binge.

Updated my webpage this morning. There’s still some parts of me that can’t believe I’m going for my dream. I even designed some t-shirts to sell in order to raise money (check them out here – purchases or criticism welcome). Everything will happen at the right time as long as I keep working hard to get there…right? I hope so. Now accepting all positive vibes!

Until something more.

Oh yeah. Turns out hubby has some anxiety issues. Any tips on how to cope with that is welcome as well. 😉


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